If you've felt like you’re stuck, it’s crucial to ask yourself one key question…
Let me set the stage for this. I’ve just finished what I call “Private Consulting Week.” Every month, at the end of the month, I open up my calendar for one-on-one “911 calls” with clients who seem to be stuck. While they can talk to me at other times throughout the month, these calls are specifically for those feeling stuck. And when I talk to them, I often find that they're stuck in various ways.
Professionally, they could be stuck at a certain revenue or profit level, stuck in debt, or struggling with a team they can’t manage. They may be working 70-hour weeks, unable to make it home for dinner or take a vacation without their phone and laptop. Sometimes they’re even stuck in their own limiting beliefs. On a personal level, they might not be exercising, and their health is deteriorating. They could be stuck in their relationships because they spend too much time at the office, or they might be turning to addictions like alcohol to cope. Occasionally, they even feel stuck spiritually, depending on where their faith lies.
The point is that there are multiple areas in your life where you can feel stuck, and there are often subsets within each area. What I've learned (from someone else, not me) is that when you’re stuck, you’re likely facing a glass ceiling (an invisible barrier that’s preventing you from breaking through). I was once taught that these ceilings are often self-imposed, whether due to limiting beliefs, knowledge gaps, or other factors.
I remember an analogy about how fleas are trained. I’m not sure if it’s true or just a myth, but it goes like this: Fleas are placed in jars of different sizes, and they naturally jump as high as they can. However, when they hit their heads on the jar’s ceiling, they eventually stop jumping so high. Even after being removed from the jar, they’re mentally conditioned to only jump to that height. This illustrates how we often train our brains to believe we can only achieve so much. We put limits on ourselves, whether consciously or unconsciously.
So, how do you break free from these self-imposed limitations? The key is to ask the right questions, but the question you ask depends on where you are in life. I think this is what I missed for many years… the idea that there isn't just one question, but rather a set of questions that should be asked depending on your circumstances.
Life can be categorized into four basic stages: school, the hospital, climbing a mountain, or watching a movie. Here’s the question you have to ask depending on where life has you:
- School: “What must I learn?”
If you find yourself making the same mistakes or going around in circles, it’s likely that life has you in the “school” stage. In this phase, you need to learn something before you can move on to the next level. Think of it like a video game: you have to acquire certain skills before you can progress.
In business, there are four primary areas or “pipelines” you may be stuck in:
- New client attraction
- Profit management
- Workflow
- Talent management
Each of these pipelines has sub-pipelines. You need to identify which area you’re stuck in and figure out what you need to learn to move forward. For example, if you're stuck generating clients without increasing advertising spend, you may need to focus on improving your lead conversion strategies.
- Hospital: “What must I heal?”
If you’re in a situation where you're emotionally or mentally drained, or you've experienced a significant loss (like an employee embezzling from you), life may have you in the “hospital” stage. In this case, the key question is, What must I heal?
This could involve healing yourself as a leader, healing a broken trust with your team, or healing the company after a setback. Sometimes you need to address deeper emotional or relational issues before you can grow as a business leader.
- Climbing a Mountain: “What must I improve?”
If things are moving along, but you feel like you’re running out of capacity or struggling to keep up with the pace of work, life might have you in the “mountain-climbing” stage. Here, you need to ask, What must I improve?
In business, you might be in a position where your marketing and sales are on point, but you don’t have enough capacity to handle the work. Maybe you need better systems in place to manage the workload, or perhaps you need to develop leadership within your team to help scale your business.
- Movie: “What must I experience?”
Finally, if things are going really well (your firm is profitable, your health is good, and relationships are strong) you might be in the “movie” stage of life. Everything seems great, but it’s important to ask, What must I experience?
Life has seasons, and while you may be in a “movie” phase right now, it won’t last forever. Ask yourself what you need to experience during this time. Maybe you need to refine your marketing, learn a new skill, or experience growth in a different area. Even when things seem perfect, there’s always room for improvement and growth.
So, the big question is: Where are you right now?
Are you in school, the hospital, climbing a mountain, or in a movie? Once you figure that out, ask yourself the right question for your situation, whether it’s What must I learn? What must I heal? What must I improve? or What must I experience?
These questions will give you clarity and direction on how to break free from your current limitations and move forward in your personal and professional life.
Right now, life feels like a movie for me. I play golf on Friday afternoons, I don’t have to work weekends, and I take time off in July and December. But even though things are going well, I’m still asking, What must I experience? What must I improve?
We all go through different phases of life, and at different times, we’ll find ourselves stuck in various ways. The key is to identify where you are and ask yourself the right question. Whether it’s with your faith, your personal life, or your business, allow yourself the time to reflect, and your subconscious will provide the answers.
