That’s right… as an attorney, I want you to be able to say the words, “I don’t know.”
Why? Because saying those words is one of the most powerful ways to build trust with your team. Trust is the primary driver of a healthy circle of trust and the foundation for a leadership team you can actually duplicate.
And the way you build trust is through humility.
We built our practice to operate even when I’m not present 100% of the time. I want you to be able to do the same… to build a firm that runs smoothly without you having to be there for every decision. But to do that, you must first learn to trust your team.
At our last Partners Club event, I presented on leadership through the lens of Simon Sinek. We talked about the Infinite Game and the Finite Game, and I shared nine specific steps that must happen to build a circle of trust: a leadership team capable of overcoming obstacles without constant supervision or micromanagement.
Those nine steps are important. They’re skill steps.
But today, we’re going to focus on just one and it starts with Simon Sinek’s idea of saying, “I don’t know.”
Below is his quote or you can scan the QR code to watch the video. Then unpack what it means for us as leaders.
“I realized that I had built a business out of force of personality. I was in every meeting, made every decision, I was chief cook and bottle washer. And when you start to have some success, even a little bit of scale, that approach stops working.
I didn’t have the skill set to build structure. I could run on personality, but that only works if you want to stay a solopreneur. You can’t build a real business that way.
The single best lesson I learned and the biggest mistake I ever made was believing I had to know everything. I don’t. And I don’t have to pretend I do.
I’ve learned to say, ‘I don’t know, I need help.’ Turns out, I was surrounded by people who wanted to help me, they just didn’t know I needed it because I never asked.
Now, I don’t feel like I have to be the smartest person in the room or have more credibility than anyone else. I’ve let go of that baggage.
Many of us still carry it, thinking that as leaders, we must have all the answers, or be better at everyone else’s job. But leadership credibility isn’t tied to intelligence, it’s tied to our ability to help those around us rise.
If you can shed those demons, it’s incredibly empowering.”
That message really hit me. Saying, “I don’t know” and “I need help” are two of the most powerful statements a leader can make because they bring humility into your circle of trust.
Let me give you a real example.
This summer, my family and I traveled through Switzerland, Germany, and Austria. Most of our leadership team was there: Maria, my E.C.I.B. (East Coast Italian Bride), my son (who co-owns the company), and my younger son, who runs sales. But several vital team members weren’t with us.
Before the trip, we were stuck trying to solve a marketing problem. I kept offering ideas, but nothing was working. Finally, I looked at the team and said:
“Guys and gals, I don’t have any more ideas. I don’t know and I need help.”
Then I told them, “We’re leaving soon. You have a budget, you know the problem… go figure it out.”
When we came back, they’d made real progress and gained traction on the issue. And that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t stepped back and admitted, “I don’t know.”
In fact, that moment led me to step completely off that marketing team. The team later told me, “You and Michael are both great leaders, but sometimes we don’t know who to listen to. You step over each other.”
So I realized it’s Michael’s team. I needed to get out of the way.
I humbled myself, said, “I don’t know,” and trusted them to lead. Now, I’m not even in those meetings and guess what? Everything is working better than ever.
If you want to build a team of leaders, you have to practice humility.
I know that’s hard for attorneys. You’re trained and expected to always have the answers. You’re often the smartest person in the room. So it’s uncomfortable to say, “I don’t know.”
But I promise it’s one of the most powerful tools you can use to grow leaders within your team and free yourself from being the “chief think tank.”
And even if you’re a small “keep it small, keep it all” firm with just five employees, this still matters.
If your leadership lacks humility, if you never say, “I don’t know” or “I need help”, your team will eventually get frustrated. You’ll lose good people.
And in a five-person team, losing even one person means losing 20% of your workforce. That hurts. Badly.
So, build humility into your leadership now. It will help you keep your best team members and build a stronger, more capable firm.
If you’re a Partners Club member and didn’t catch the full presentation on the Nine Steps to Developing Leadership on Your Team, you can grab the recording from your dashboard: https://partners.therichardjames.com/content/55003/
And if you’re not yet a Partners Club member, visit the link below to learn more. Let’s take the first step together toward building your leadership and your freedom.
