Recently, I had a higher-end mesh Wi-Fi system installed in my home. I needed a reliable setup for my work, which includes live recordings and training sessions, so I made sure to have redundancy in place with both a cable and fiber network, plus a backup router. This setup wasn’t cheap, as my house was built in 1994 and didn’t have the proper wiring for the high-tech equipment I needed. But the company I hired (after extensive research) did a fantastic job, plus they had great reviews, used high-quality hardware, and gave excellent follow-up.
Not only were considerate when working inside my home and communicating with me, they went above and beyond by sending me a “shock and awe” package after the installation. Inside, I received a handwritten thank-you card (which I could tell wasn’t written by the owner, but that’s okay). While the note didn’t have my name on it or a personal signature, it still felt like an extra effort on their part, which made me feel appreciated.
They also included some swag… a water bottle (because who doesn’t need more of those?), a koozie, a sticker, and a magnet. Now, while these might seem like small, inconsequential items, the thought and effort behind it made a difference. They didn’t just send a generic email or text. They took the time to make me feel valued.
Why Does This Matter?
Most companies rely on automation like AI, emails, and text messages to send thank-you notes or personalize their communications. But there’s something different about a physical thank-you. It shows effort. Even though I knew it wasn’t fully personal, the fact that they put the time in to send me a handwritten note (along with the swag) made me feel appreciated and cared for.
Here’s where the psychology comes in. Loretta Breuning wrote a book called Habits of a Happy Brain, and Simon Sinek later built on her work with his book Leaders Eat Last. Loretta is credited with introducing the concept of E.D.S.O., which stands for Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin. These four chemicals are released by the brain and are triggered in specific situations.
Now, I don’t have time to dive into all of them here, but I’ll save that for a future training. For now, I want to focus on one specific chemical: oxytocin, the “love hormone.” When we receive a physical, thoughtful gesture like a handwritten note, it triggers the release of oxytocin. This chemical makes us feel loved, safe, and appreciated. And when we feel loved, we’re more likely to trust the company, do business with them again, and recommend them to others.
In this case, I’m now sharing this experience with my entire client list, which means I’m spreading the word about this company. I trust them more, not just because they did a good job, but because they made me feel cared for. That’s the power of love in business.
How Does This Apply to Your Law Firm?
The question for you is: how can you make your team, clients, referral partners, and vendors feel loved? The answer is simple: take the time to write handwritten notes. It doesn’t always have to be you doing it, but it needs to be part of your system.
For example, I’ve been writing handwritten notes to my team for 35 years. I’ve also sent personalized videos to employees at milestones or before breaks. As a result, we’ve had team members stay with us for years. The same principle applies to our clients. Every quarter, I send handwritten notes to highlight their wins and accomplishments. The feedback? Our average client stays with us for five years, with some sticking around for 10-12 years.
This extends to our vendors and referral partners too. We send them personalized gifts and thank-you notes, making them feel appreciated and valued. When people feel safe and cared for, they’re more likely to stay loyal and go the extra mile for you.
The Power of Oxytocin in Business
The key takeaway here is that you can systemize this process, whether it’s through handwritten notes or other thoughtful gestures, and achieve a similar outcome.
So, the next time you’re looking to build stronger relationships with your team, clients, and partners, remember the power of oxytocin. A simple handwritten note, a thoughtful gesture, or even a small personalized gift can make a big difference in how people feel about working with you. It will help you retain long-lasting clients, create a loyal team, and build better relationships with your vendors and referral partners.
It’s one of the simplest ways to make people feel loved and that love is what drives long-term business success.
